I was checking the blog there are occasions where someone will ask a question and it does not reach me through the usual channels and I have found unanswered questions that way.
I am going to post and say " I am still here" Life is NOT what it was prior to all of this. The blessing in that is that so much time and "stuff" has happened I don't remember the old norm. I am human and have my days where I just plainly feel like "crap" that said " I also have days that although painful I can find relief" some times that means I just go to bed get off my feet and heating pad to the back and one to the front and down we stay.
I am not going to attempt to paint a rosy picture and make things out to be better than they are. I had hoped that I could return to work in some capacity after the surgery, I just don't have that much stamina. I am however grateful to be able to grocery shop, see my grand kids and love my cats. I am reminded that to whom much as been given much is required. I am still paying my required but longing for the day when I may hear "well done enter in good and faithful servant". For those who have read me know where my heart lies and I will again for the umpteenth time today say Lisa this world is NOT your home, but God is faithful and he is with me.
Blessings and peace to all, until the day we live in a world where no one suffers from pancreatitis or any pancreatic pain.
Lisa
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Friday, December 5, 2014
Awaiting Christmas
Last evening my husband came home from work and told that someone had reached out to him regarding someone with pancreatitis. "Would your wife be willing to talk with someone"? Instantly I was taken back to a time where without knowing I cringed. Just thinking about what others with this on a daily basis made my heart break.
If you are reading this with acute/chronic pancreatitis you are not alone. There are others who have traveled this ruddy path before you. Along the path may not be as worn there are foot prints of those who came prior.
The holidays are filled with pictures of goodies, none that we can tolerate. Feast are planned and the smells make us sick, physically. Digestion begins with the smell, the odors from food are enough to cause nausea let alone steatorrhea.
I just felt compelled to post today, I don't know you, I don't your specifics but if you suffer from pancreatitis I know you. I have felt everything you have, I know what it feel likes to know you are a burden, that life isn't suppose to be this hard. I know that look when you need pain medication and everyone looks at you like you have grown an appendage from your face. When the pharmacist watches you to make sure you are really sick enough to need this medication. I often wonder if those with cancer are treated so badly.
For those who are support for those with this illness just know that everything we are is affected. People who were once independent contributing members of society only want what we had. We want to blend back into the world and become invisible again. The holidays seem to bring out for me all that once was. Although that has been many years ago and I have moved on I am occasionally taken back to a me that once had a job could make long term decisions about the future and actually plan for a future.
In closing it is my sincerest wish for ALL to the Merriest Christmas on can have. I wish love and laughter and HOPE. That is something that is posted all over my home. HOPE sometimes is all we have but we hang on to it with everything. Hope defined by Webster: confidence in a future event; expectation of something desired.
If you are reading this with acute/chronic pancreatitis you are not alone. There are others who have traveled this ruddy path before you. Along the path may not be as worn there are foot prints of those who came prior.
The holidays are filled with pictures of goodies, none that we can tolerate. Feast are planned and the smells make us sick, physically. Digestion begins with the smell, the odors from food are enough to cause nausea let alone steatorrhea.
I just felt compelled to post today, I don't know you, I don't your specifics but if you suffer from pancreatitis I know you. I have felt everything you have, I know what it feel likes to know you are a burden, that life isn't suppose to be this hard. I know that look when you need pain medication and everyone looks at you like you have grown an appendage from your face. When the pharmacist watches you to make sure you are really sick enough to need this medication. I often wonder if those with cancer are treated so badly.
For those who are support for those with this illness just know that everything we are is affected. People who were once independent contributing members of society only want what we had. We want to blend back into the world and become invisible again. The holidays seem to bring out for me all that once was. Although that has been many years ago and I have moved on I am occasionally taken back to a me that once had a job could make long term decisions about the future and actually plan for a future.
In closing it is my sincerest wish for ALL to the Merriest Christmas on can have. I wish love and laughter and HOPE. That is something that is posted all over my home. HOPE sometimes is all we have but we hang on to it with everything. Hope defined by Webster: confidence in a future event; expectation of something desired.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
I have somehow been missing posts. I really don't know what to attribute that too. I am sincerely sorry for anyone who has not had a reply to their questions. I desperately understand what it is like to be so very ill and just want someone to help. It has never been my heartfelt attempt to ignore or dismiss any one with questions.
I have had questions about how I am. I am holding my own, as only we can do. I continue to have liver enzyme elevations which are life altering and painful. Life comes to much of a stop when this occurs, I become very tired and require a lot more rest. I don't eat a lot of solid food when this happens. I keep it simple, I grind jasmine rice and make a hot cereal out of it with low to no carb sweetener.
I am still here, and am asked would I have this surgery again. In a heart beat I would. I was unable to eat anything prior to and would most likely have never been able to eat again. I do eat what I want when ever my liver is calm and do on occasion enjoy a great cheese burger. Food any food does cause pain, but it is controllable. Prior to surgery nothing helped, before eating after eating all the time nothing helped.
My husband and I entered into this together, if anything would ever happen and God would call me home my husband would inform the blog. In the mean time I am here for ALL and will answer you when I find the post or get a notification of it (the way this has worked in the past). I don't want to waste time nor bore anyone with goofy grandma or the life of the crazy cat lady.
Lisa Atwell
I have had questions about how I am. I am holding my own, as only we can do. I continue to have liver enzyme elevations which are life altering and painful. Life comes to much of a stop when this occurs, I become very tired and require a lot more rest. I don't eat a lot of solid food when this happens. I keep it simple, I grind jasmine rice and make a hot cereal out of it with low to no carb sweetener.
I am still here, and am asked would I have this surgery again. In a heart beat I would. I was unable to eat anything prior to and would most likely have never been able to eat again. I do eat what I want when ever my liver is calm and do on occasion enjoy a great cheese burger. Food any food does cause pain, but it is controllable. Prior to surgery nothing helped, before eating after eating all the time nothing helped.
My husband and I entered into this together, if anything would ever happen and God would call me home my husband would inform the blog. In the mean time I am here for ALL and will answer you when I find the post or get a notification of it (the way this has worked in the past). I don't want to waste time nor bore anyone with goofy grandma or the life of the crazy cat lady.
Lisa Atwell
Monday, April 8, 2013
It has always been my intention to bring the truth to this blog. Since the beginning of the year I have been having a lot more upper abdominal symptoms. I have been spending more days in bed. It seems that I would have acute symptoms be down for 2-3 days and then spend one taking it easy and then the mad dash is on to catch up what has been missed since my initial symptoms began. Then in 3-4 days back down I would go.
I am also have a difficult time keeping weight on. I have lost about 20 plus pounds in the last 13 months. I have reached the lowest weight that I can remember. I believe I am smaller now than when I was 12 years old. I was never a small girl before the term of pancreatitis became an everyday word.
On Wednesday March 28, 2013 I began to have the upper abdominal and back radiating symptoms that I knew were bad. It feels as though someone or something has kicked me in the chest below my sternum. This time I knew it was different I could not go to sleep, normally if I go to bed I will just go to sleep and sleep through most of it.
In the wee hours of the morning my husband was driving me to the ER. I declined admission but was administered pain relief and nausea meds. I forgot to say that as soon as I hit triage I began to vomit as soon as the nurse said " May I help you"? I began to vomit into the bucket I was carrying.
The long short of it all... I had elevated liver enzymes again.
alkaline phosp 261
AST ( SGOT) 230
Alt (SGPT) 155
It has been almost 2 weeks and I am still not back to me. I stay tired and don't have much stamina. I was given a referral to a local GI. I tried to call but who ever answered the phone wouldn't make me an appointment because that physician was NOT on call that noc. Even though I don't want to see the one that was on call. On to bigger and better things. I am under no illusions, there was no one here who could help me prior to the tp/ict I doubt that they can now. I still occasionally get the " you can't live without a pancreas". Guess I am dead then! This thing I know I don't have a pancreas and don't WANT one.
On a positive note, had my HA1C checked 6.0 not where I like it to be, but this I can work on. Usually I am 5.7-5.9. I am still within a non diabetic range and want to keep it that way.
Lisa
I am also have a difficult time keeping weight on. I have lost about 20 plus pounds in the last 13 months. I have reached the lowest weight that I can remember. I believe I am smaller now than when I was 12 years old. I was never a small girl before the term of pancreatitis became an everyday word.
On Wednesday March 28, 2013 I began to have the upper abdominal and back radiating symptoms that I knew were bad. It feels as though someone or something has kicked me in the chest below my sternum. This time I knew it was different I could not go to sleep, normally if I go to bed I will just go to sleep and sleep through most of it.
In the wee hours of the morning my husband was driving me to the ER. I declined admission but was administered pain relief and nausea meds. I forgot to say that as soon as I hit triage I began to vomit as soon as the nurse said " May I help you"? I began to vomit into the bucket I was carrying.
The long short of it all... I had elevated liver enzymes again.
alkaline phosp 261
AST ( SGOT) 230
Alt (SGPT) 155
It has been almost 2 weeks and I am still not back to me. I stay tired and don't have much stamina. I was given a referral to a local GI. I tried to call but who ever answered the phone wouldn't make me an appointment because that physician was NOT on call that noc. Even though I don't want to see the one that was on call. On to bigger and better things. I am under no illusions, there was no one here who could help me prior to the tp/ict I doubt that they can now. I still occasionally get the " you can't live without a pancreas". Guess I am dead then! This thing I know I don't have a pancreas and don't WANT one.
On a positive note, had my HA1C checked 6.0 not where I like it to be, but this I can work on. Usually I am 5.7-5.9. I am still within a non diabetic range and want to keep it that way.
Lisa
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Still here 6 years after surgery
I don't post frequently because the mundane aspects of life are boring. No one likes a blog where people say " well I took the trash out today".
Years, looking back many now my husband and I set out to chronicle my life. My life back then if one could call that a life I call it an existance.
The emails from others who know the pain come less frequently. My purpose was to chronicle what happened after ground breaking surgery.
I have survived 6 years post surgery, taking each day as they come. I have attempted to be transparent to all. I still have pain, and there are days that are spend in bed flat, but there are days that are full of joy.
My only goal is to attend church service 3 times per month. I manage my time with the daily aspects of life and my only hobby is machine embroidery which is not real physically taxing. I have 2 grand daughters who love to have Disney princesses embroidered on their t shirts and such. Being unable to get out for lessons it is amazing what one call learn from you tube and yahoo groups.
I have added a picture taken of me and my dear sweet husband. We were at a formal event. I am so very proud of him. If anyone has read the blog Michael was working on his BSN and last year he finished is MSN. Currently he is a nurse practitioner. No one ever said life would be easy, but Jesus promised he would be with us. This I have learned to be true. To God be the Glory!
I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well. Psalm 139:14 NIV
Years, looking back many now my husband and I set out to chronicle my life. My life back then if one could call that a life I call it an existance.
The emails from others who know the pain come less frequently. My purpose was to chronicle what happened after ground breaking surgery.
I have survived 6 years post surgery, taking each day as they come. I have attempted to be transparent to all. I still have pain, and there are days that are spend in bed flat, but there are days that are full of joy.
I have added a picture taken of me and my dear sweet husband. We were at a formal event. I am so very proud of him. If anyone has read the blog Michael was working on his BSN and last year he finished is MSN. Currently he is a nurse practitioner. No one ever said life would be easy, but Jesus promised he would be with us. This I have learned to be true. To God be the Glory!
I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well. Psalm 139:14 NIV
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Reaching me
If you attempt to reach me, you will have to leave your email address. The way these blogs are set up, there is no way for me to know your email address. If you want me to respond to you, somehow you will have to leave away for me to contact you.
It is my sincerest desire to assist ALL who have suffered with this affliction. Please allow me to respond to your requests.
Lisa
It is my sincerest desire to assist ALL who have suffered with this affliction. Please allow me to respond to your requests.
Lisa
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